In Too Deep
by TooIntenseToBeLoved
Summary: Set just after "Meat." Ianto's thoughts and reaction to what Jack said to Gwen. Jack/Ianto


**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters I'm just using them and promise to return them after making no profit. Lyrics at the bottom also belong to Leanne Rimes not me unfortunately. **

**A/N: Just some nice Jack/Ianto angst, Spoliers for "Meat". Takes place just after "Meat."**

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**In Too Deep**

The slam of Jack's office door echoed throughout the Hub, Ianto kept his eyes fixed at a point on the opposite wall not daring to turn and face the questioning, pitying eyes of Owen and Tosh which he could feel burning a hole through his skin. Eventually they moved back to their respective work stations and appeared to carry on with whatever research or task they had been doing before.

Ianto stood still for a moment before closing his eyes and clenching his fists. He had heard the need in Jack's voice as he spoke to Gwen, he would never have allowed this if it was one of the others. Ianto knew he was just Jack's part time shag, but that didn't make it hurt any less when it was so painfully obvious that he wanted someone else. Not only was he hurt but he was humiliated. The others knew of their relationship and just like him could see Jack's obvious feelings for Gwen.

Movement disturbed Ianto from his thoughts; he looked up to see Tosh making her way up the stairs towards the coffee room. _Tosh._ She was so sweet, clearly not wanting to disturb Ianto with requests for tea. Ianto placed a small smile on his face as he walked towards her.

"Tea, was it Tosh?" He questioned her with a polite smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Thanks, Ianto." She replied moving back to her work station, Ianto and Tosh's voices caught Owens attention and he appeared.

"I could murder a coffee." Owen stated, looking at Ianto, Ianto nodded and turned and made his way up the stairs.

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"Ianto?" Jack called standing outside his office door, the others had all went home sometime ago, but it was nowhere close to when Ianto usually left. Hearing no reply he ventured out of his office and looked around the Hub. It was unusually quiet, as at this time Ianto could usually be heard typing reports or cleaning up, but all that greeted Jack was silence. 

Jack sighed and ran a hand through his hair, he was frustrated and Ianto always knew how to help him whenever he was like this. The Welshman just seemed to know what to do no matter what his moods were.

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Ianto sat in one of the many bar's that were close to Torchwood head quarters, probably not the smartest idea if he didn't want to be found. But he needed a drink. The bar was relatively busy and the amount of noise the place was generating did not allow him to dwell too deeply on his thoughts. The scotch in his hand was also helping to stop the more depressing feelings, although he knew that if he had too many everything would come flooding back, he was a rather emotional drunk. 

After making Owen his coffee and Tosh her tea, Ianto had quickly tidied up before leaving. Looking at his watch it was 10.45, Jack would have went looking for him at around 10.15, when Tosh finally left her station. Although if Jack even bothered to look for him tonight he would be surprised. His head was clearly too full of Gwen to see Ianto. Ianto downed his scotch, wondering when he would reach that place when he no longer cared about Jack and then how much longer he would have until it was practically all he would be able to think of.

_Jack kissing him in his office. Jack's admission of needing Gwen. Jack saying he returned for him…_Gwen had been their too. Perhaps it was not Ianto he had come back for.

Ianto signalled the bar tender for another drink. She was a tall, slim, brunette and appeared to be giving him the eye, maybe she would help him forget about Jack. Although she probably had a boyfriend, and he was probably watching her encase some drunk like himself tried anything with her.

Ianto sighed, it was so much simpler before he met Jack, he never had this problem with Lisa.

_Lisa._

Of course getting drunk was always a bad idea for Ianto, thoughts of Lisa were bound to come up eventually although he tried not to think about her. Nothing seemed to being going his way tonight as the painful memories seemed to be surfacing before the happy numb he usually felt consumed him.

"Can I get you another drink?" Questioned a smooth American accent. Ianto drew in a deep breath before closing his eyes tightly; maybe when he opened them he would not see the long blue coat or the bluer eyes, or the perfect smile. Ianto opened his eyes slowly and turned, severely disappointed once again, tonight it seemed to be a regular occurrence.

"Scotch." Ianto told him shortly before turning away not wanting to look at him any longer. His drink appeared a moment later beside a glass of water that Jack picked up.

"So you come here often?" Jack questioned playfully, Ianto could hear the smile in his voice, but could tell it didn't quite reach his eyes. Perhaps he knew Jack too well sometimes.

Ianto merely shrugged in response and Jack didn't say anything further, they then lapsed into an uncomfortable silence. This was the first of those silences he could remember sharing with Jack since whatever it was he had with Jack had began. Ianto did not feel comfortable calling it a relationship.

"Ianto?" Jack said his name with a sigh, almost a plea. But Ianto knew Jack did not beg. Although there was that one time with the handcuffs…._No._ He refused to be pulled in by the good memories which would sway his decision. The bar suddenly became far too hot for him and he needed to get out.

Ianto swiftly downed his scotch before getting up and leaving, he moved through the throngs of people with ease and was soon out in the open air, the cool breeze calming compared to the stifling heat of the bar. The longer he was around Jack the more memories appeared to him and the less able he felt at being able to resist him.

The night truly was against him, as he instinctively knew Jack had followed him out. He stood still and let the wind caress his face almost allowing him to forget his problems, but the firm hand on his shoulder broke the trance he was in and he turned slowly to face Jack.

"What's wrong?" Jack questioned looking worried. Ianto wanted to laugh, Jack didn't know. At the change in Jack's facial expression Ianto realised he had actually started laughing out loud.

"Ianto?" Jack questioned again, his face creased with worry and Ianto abruptly stopped his laughter and looked at Jack, really looked at him.

His eyes were concerned and weary, the lines on his face showed him to be stressed, in that moment he looked as fragile as Ianto could remember seeing him. A part of Ianto, the foolish part, ached for Jack and wanted to reach out to him and comfort him. Did it matter if Jack was upset because of the alien or if it was about Gwen? Ianto knew he wanted to help him, it was what he did, part of his role as part time shag. The other, stronger, part of Ianto knew that nothing good could come from going back to Jack; it would merely end in heart ache, well for one of them at least.

Ianto knew which side would win.

Ianto pulled Jack to him and held him close, breathing in his scent, being in Jack's arms always made the ache fade away.

"It was nothing. You know what I'm like when I'm drunk. At least this time you're not collecting me from the police station for indecent exposure in public." Ianto said reassuringly into Jack's ear, comforted by the short laugh he heard in return as Jack remembered the incident.

"Will you come back to the Hub with me?" Jack questioned, pulling back from Ianto and looking into his eyes, not completely convinced Ianto was alright.

"My place is closer." Ianto replied, although this was not strictly true, but at least there was nothing even remotely related to Gwen there. At least there he knew Jack was completely with him.

"You sure you're fine?" Jack asked one more time, studying Ianto closely.

Ianto didn't answer but moved slowly towards Jack and capturing his lips in a slow kiss, the slow pace did not last long as Jack pulled Ianto closer to him, placing his hand at the back of Ianto's neck holding him in position as he kissed him fiercely.

Ianto pulled away breathless and wearing a grin to match Jack's, although if you looked close enough you could see it was not completely shown in their eyes. Ianto took Jack's hand and they walked towards Ianto's flat, mindless of the cool breeze and the other people scattered around them as they discussed trivial things and laughed about nothing, but each laugh and smile was just slightly forced, although neither wanted to spoil the moment by calling the other on it.

Ianto knew he was foolish to go back to Jack and knew his feelings were too strong. At times though the ache, the pull was too strong and Ianto could do nothing but run back to his arms.

Walking past one bar Ianto could hear the lyrcis of a song flowing from the juke box. If it wasn't quite so heart breaking he would laugh at how clearly the song fit his situation.

_You walk in and my strength walks out the door  
Say my name and I can't fight it any more  
Oh I know, I should go  
But I need your touch just too damn much  
Loving you, That isn't really something I should do  
I shouldn't wanna spend my time with you  
Well I should try to be strong  
But baby you're the right kind of wrong  
Yeah, baby you're the right kind of wrong_

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**A/N: Feedback appreciated and can be done by clicking on the little button on the bottom left :D**


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